My Side of the Mix: Celebrating Asian-American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month
I consider myself Asian-American: Half Vietnamese, half Chinese and born first generation in the United States. Between my indirect interpretation of my brother’s 23&Me, and at your first glance, we could argue I am almost all Southeast Asian. However, if you spend enough time with me, it eventually becomes obvious that aside from my broad face, high-set cheekbones and eyes that kiss in the corners, I am very much American. I lost the ability to speak in my native tongue long before I became an adult and the traditions of Vietnamese and Chinese culture had slipped almost completely away as life went on. There were so many reasons for this. As a young, immigrant family, we changed ourselves so Western society was more accepting of us. Then my Chinese dad left, and my Vietnamese mother dated Caucasian men. Eventually, I introduced myself by my American name so much, I wondered who Ting-TIng even was. And as a first generation Asian-American child and often the minority, the Asian was somewhat bullied out of me and appearing more American became a survival tactic. As a first generation Asian-American young adult, I adjusted to blend in first and then thrive later. It was during this part of my development that I felt worried about not really being either: Not Asian enough. And never American enough. There was a disconnect between the features of my face, my genetic complex and how I represented myself to the world. When it was too late, I started to appreciate the beauty I was gifted that I took for granted. I traveled throughout Asia, I met my family in Vietnam and created friendships with more people from different Asian ethnic backgrounds. I started to study Vietnamese again, read more Asian-American authors, joined a college club/community made up of Asian-American students and pick back up a tradition or two that I promised myself I would hold onto. All of this felt deeply insufficient. I lost so much of myself in insecurity, immaturity and ignorance thinking that I was gaining something else, and wrongfully, perhaps something better.
As a grown Asian-American woman, I realized that this was who I am. As I came of age, for one reason or another, parts of me left forever and others resonated. I was not too little or too much of Asian or American. I was building confidence. I still consider myself an Asian-American woman, and in the United States, that can be anything. I am unique and feel empowered to embrace this.
Then I married my black and Hispanic husband who had a similar upbringing. He was too light-skinned to be black enough and not Honduran enough to be Hispanic. Ricky is a confident man, and although I am not sure that his emotions around this were as heavy as mine, I saw love in our connection. I embraced us, and felt more than enough individually, and now together.
When I ask Skylar which character she is in a book we’re reading, sometimes she points to the brown girl with tight curls, other times, she points to the Asian girl with pigtails. And she’s right. She’s both. She’s neither. She’s more. And most importantly, whatever the perception, she’s herself and she is exquisite. Then Maverick will speak a few words of Vietnamese to grandma as Naomi gets mesmerized by the music in Encanto. We are creating our definition of being mixed which has been so special. And by creating our mixed children, we have the opportunity to amplify the beauty in them that I once considered inadequacies in myself. That is something I will not only never take for granted but I take seriously.
Asian-American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month was the perfect time to make an extra effort to show them my side of their mix and more! I’ve been using these months as reminders to emphasize all of the elements that make them who they are, hoping that they will explore themselves as they grow and understand. It is also a way to expose them to as many different cultures, ethnicities and stories as possible in a creative way during a time where, even after lifting a lot of covid regulations, our international travel is limited. Last but not least, it’s a way to encourage their peers and teachers to learn as well as they attend a predominantly white daycare/school. If you read my posts, “The His in Hispanic” and “Celebrating our Mixed Month,” you will see this has been on the agenda for me since they were crawling. My approach will evolve as they get older and their appreciation matures. For now, it is fun to do it in a way that they can enjoy as infants and toddlers! Here is what we did for AAPI during the month of May…
Movies of the month: 1.) Red Panda by Disney 2.) Raya and the Last Dragon by Disney 3.) Over the Moon by Netflix
Books of the month: 1.) Eyes that Speak to the Stars AND Eyes that Kiss in the Corners, both written by Joanna Ho, illustrated by Dung Ho 2.) Mixed: A Colorful Story by Arree Chung 3.) My First Day by Phung Nguyen Quang 4.) Our Moon Festival by Yobe Qiu 5.) Amy Wu and the Patchwork Dragon written by Kat Zhang, illustrated by Charlene Chua 6.) The Proudest Blue by Ibtihaj Muhammad
Activity of the month: Art and crafts Japanese Carp Kites with construction paper, stick-on fish eyes, fuzzy chenille sticks and streamers. A decoration in Japan to celebrate Children’s Day on May 5 to recognize their growth and strength, respect their personalities and wish them happiness.
Trailblazers of the month: 1.) Bruce Lee- Martial Artist and Actor 2.) Kamala Harris- Vice President of the United States 3.) Mommy- Doctor, Author, Blogger
Snacks (nut-free for daycare) of the month: 1.) Lychee jello cups 2.) Meiji Hello Panda creme puffs 3.) Honey-flavored cookie balls
Word of the month: Thúi (means smelly in Vietnamese- a word grandma often yells during poopy diaper changes)
Daycare was open to my AAPI contributions. They didn’t have much of a choice. I sent a big bag with Skylar and Maverick every week encouraging AAPI month to be recognized. The teachers were thankful, but as a school, they lacked the reciprocal enthusiasm that I was bringing. I donated age-appropriate books at the start of every week in May to Skylar and Maverick’s classrooms. I sent all of the supplies needed for the arts and crafts activity, with plenty to share with other classrooms, attached with the significance of Children’s Day, which I found fitting for a daycare/school full of bright and curious creatures. I sent enough snacks for everyone to have a taste. Daycare decided to focus on Mother’s day and Memorial day. For the most part, there was no mention of AAPI aside from a brief comment at the bottom of one of Skylar’s reports with a photo of her coloring the carp kite. It’s hard to tell if they included that to pacify me as the overzealous mom that never gives them a reason or excuse to not diversify, evolve and open their minds. Either way, I’m reminded by another culturally sensitive mom to keep doing what I’m doing and that the change won’t happen overnight, which is exactly what will happen. I will continue to show Skylar, Maverick and Naomi that our family mix is a remarkable virtue and magnify their magic… one month at a time.
Happy AAPI Month!
