February… Celebrating Our Mixed Month
Before motherhood, the most important day of February for me and my husband was Valentine’s day. A romantic dinner with a bottle of red and flowers delivered with a love note. I didn’t realize that February would transform into a meaningful four weeks for us like it did this year until we became parents.
This past February was very intentional for two reasons: we were recognizing Black History Month (BHM) and celebrating the Ox for Lunar New Year. There were triggers for both and I will start with BHM.
On January 18th, daycare was open and my daughter attended a full day. After school, we get a daily report of her activities with photos. Every weekday around 345pm, I scroll through to try to get an idea of how she did and a sense of missing my baby girl always comes over me.
After I was done, I asked myself. “Did they do anything for Martin Luther King Jr. Day?”
“They must’ve,” I answered in my own head and looked at the daily report again.
Interesting. No mention of MLK and no photos depicting it was acknowledged. I emailed the school and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn’t capture it in today’s photos. To my surprise, they had done nothing for MLK despite being open for the holiday and despite their pride in how they incorporate diversity in their curriculums. They celebrate Diwali, Kwanzaa, St Patrick’s Day, etc. but in the era of Black Lives Matter at a predominantly white daycare/pre-K, there’s nothing for MLK, an American holiday. Shouldn’t it be even more important to learn about MLK early (as early as the infant room in my opinion) at a school where the Black kids are far and few between?
I was disappointed. However, I appreciated the effort that was put forth by Skylar’s teacher. The next day they watched a YouTube video targeted to children about MLK. I assume next year will be more planned out.
Then I wondered, “What am I doing to teach and celebrate my mixed children and is it enough?”
In preparation for BHM, I looked through our collection of books. Among them were Dream Big, Little One, Follow Your Dreams, Little One and Little Legends- Exceptional Men Black History, we also had Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls. I bookmarked the Black women. Target has a wonderful collection of BHM children’s clothing and I bought something for her and her brother to wear every week in February. I wanted to encourage their Black pride and I wanted to highlight the Black mixed into their extraordinary skin tones.
Yet, the reality is that every month is Black History Month in our household. These books were already sitting on our shelves. And every morning, their dad kisses them goodbye before he leaves to make Black history as a man that went from the hood to Hopkin’s and became a Geriatric Physician from his calling that started in a nursing home as a CNA.
February was also the month that we would honor the Year of the Ox. Lunar New Year marks the first new moon of the lunisolar calendar. Twelve cycles of the moon is roughly 354 days. The new moon tends to land between the end of January and February and traditionally recognized by several Asian countries including China and Vietnamese. 2021 is the Year of the Ox on the Chinese Zodiac calendar. My husband and I are both the Year of the Ox and even more spectacular, was that our baby girl on the way would be born this zodiac sign as well.
We decorated the house, swept the bad luck away to welcome health, happiness and prosperity. I was so grateful that when brought up to daycare, they would openly recognize it. I donated books to the class, red lanterns for the students to color, pastries from the Asian market, a DIY dragon and red envelopes filled with chocolate gold coins (usually money) for everyone to take home. Skylar wore a bright red traditional Chinese Qipao dress (she also had a red traditional Ao Dai dress but the clip was malfunctioning in the morning).
I was thrilled when that day’s report was filled with the red and symbols of good fortune. The kids even held their own little Lunar New Year parade through the halls holding the dragon and red lanterns. Especially when all of the parades were cancelled due to Covid, this overwhelmed me with joy!
All of this was a learning experience. I still consider myself a new mom and I never know what will incite passion and action until situations like this occur. These situations are defining my role as we grow and a remind that what I do and how I do it matters. I must be intentional as a mother and choose what I emphasize wisely to my ever-evolving beloved tiny humans. As we danced in our living room, me holding Maverick and Ricky holding Skylar dressed in red on Lunar New Year surrounded by family and the smell of traditional food to “Brown Skin Girl” by Beyonce, I happily thought, “Cupid will take a backseat in February from now on.”
